experience the journey

I'm on a journey of creation, as we all are. We co-create our lives with the universe every single day, and yet I often have felt like I'm not very creative and get easily overwhelmed with a feeling of having no idea what I'm doing. You can guess what state I end up in when these thoughts take over me...yep suffering. Not very much fun, huh? As I was all tangled up in a ball of feeling lost, I had an epiphany: stop looking externally, that is what is causing the overwhelm, DUH! Thus, began a journey of learning to build a business and co-create my life literally from the inside out. This page is dedicated to documenting the experience as I go so you can benefit from the epiphanies, tools, and learning I picked up along the way.


We all have a creative gift, what's yours?


The first epiphany I had in this process, after a temper tantrum and tears in my vegan sushi, was the fact that I am creative after all. My creativity is not packaged in an obvious way, thus it felt like it was hiding. I looked at the outside world and thought, "I can't paint, draw, sing, make things, I must not be creative." What I wasn't giving myself credit for is the fact that I am very creative when it comes to really big ideas. I have always been a strategic thinker, I see the ways that systems come together and what will and won't make something work. This is my gift. We all have a gift, what's yours? If you don't immediately know, write down everything you've ever done that you've truly loved including books you've read, classes you've taken, activities you've participated in; don't limit yourself to what you "think" creativity means. I guarantee you'll find your unique gift hiding.


Look within, I promise you'll be fascinated


The biggest form of suffering I experience on a day to day basis is overwhelm. In part, it's normal for Highly Sensitive People to hit overwhelm quickly because we take in more sensory input than our non-HSP friends. But, it's also because we are conditioned to study the external environment and make our decisions based upon what we see around us. In part, this is for survival and we don't want to lose the part of ourselves that keeps us safe and alive. However, the external environment will never bring us the personal fulfillment and sense of purpose that our souls seek. The only way we can experience this is to look within. To become super curious about what's going on inside of us, what inspiration are we receiving, what direction is our heart and soul wanting to take us in? People like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk could only create what they have by being inspired from within, as they are innovating and creating what was previously thought impossible. How are you channeling your internal guidance to go in the direction of your dreams? The best place to start is with a meditation and channeled writing practice. Pick a time of day that you will dedicate 30 minutes to and spend the first 10-15 with your eyes closed, just paying attention to your breath. Letting thoughts come and go without following them, practice experiencing yourself as the observer of your thoughts as opposed to the subject of them. Next, grab a pen and paper and ask the universe some BIG questions. Open ended, curious, "what am I here to create?" type of questions and then let the universe respond. Write anything that comes to you, don't censor it thinking that it's your mind or that you're making things up, just let it flow and you will be shocked at the information you receive when you keep up with this practice!


Let the emotions flow


There was a period of time where I literally didn't cry more than a handful of times for TEN YEARS. What, you were emotionally constipated for ten years? YEP! Starting in college, I became extremely unconscious and began following the well worn path that everyone else follows. The one where you go to college, meet your partner, get married, move to the burbs, have kids, work in a cubicle, and complain about how miserable you are with zero successful attempts to do anything about it. At some point in time, if you are reading this, you have likely realized this well worn path isn't for you. Deep inside you know that your soul and spirit are screaming for a life filled with purpose, joy, love, connection, and depth far beyond what someone else's version of life has to offer you. Let me pause, I'm not saying that all of the steps on the above path are wrong, they may be perfect for you. The important thing is, are they right for you because YOU are choosing them, or because you were under the impression that you HAD to take them? I was in the second category and thus I was miserable. I knew I came here to create a new path and not walk anyone else's. But before we can fully step onto the new path, we have to get off of the old. Part of that is releasing all of the old, stuck emotions that have been in our bodies for years. The ones we tried to hide from, or were so numb that we never realize existed. I call this cleaning out the emotional closet. It's not pretty or fun per se, but it is so necessary and freeing. It has literally changed every aspect of my life. How to do this? I highly recommend trusted support because things can get dark and hairy (picture boogie man jumping out at night scary). What is the one thing that haunts you that you haven't told anyone because you are too scared or ashamed? Start there, write it down, bring it to the light then share it with someone you trust - a wise friend, coach, or counselor. Set yourself free from the wounds that keep you feeling and playing small and start living in the flow.